Gerund

English translation: Rearrange the sentence

15:35 Nov 12, 2015
English language (monolingual) [PRO]
Art/Literary - Art, Arts & Crafts, Painting
English term or phrase: Gerund
"Combining skiing with the finest traditional Swiss hotels, XXX views from its bedrooms and lounges take in pine forests lining immaculately groomed pistes".

I'm not sure this sentence is correctly built. Shouldn't it be like it French where the subject "XXX views" is to be the same for the gerund and the actual verb "take in"? If it is so, I have some difficulties figuring out how the views can actually "combine skiing with blabla Swiss hotels. Or, do I have it all wrong?

Thanks for your help.
No translation needed. Thanks
Christophe Delaunay
France
Local time: 23:42
Selected answer:Rearrange the sentence
Explanation:
Hi, Christophe,
Thanks for the information!
The point you make in your question seems to me perfectly sound. I agree with you that the sentence is not properly constructed, because, as it is written, the subject of the present participle (not strictly a gerund), "combining", is the views. That is to say, it means that the views combine skiing with traditional Swiss hotels, which is clearly nonsense; what the writer means is that the hotel in question combines these things.

It must be said that common sense will guide the reader to the desired meaning, and this kind of loose gerund is quite common, but it is poor, clumsy drafting and the sentence ought to be adjusted.

The minimum intervention to fix the point mentioned would be something like this:

"Combining skiing with the finest traditional Swiss hotels, Hotel XXX offers views from its bedrooms and lounges that take in pine forests lining immaculately groomed pistes."

However, I wouldn't stop there. The sentence has several other faults, in my view:
1. "Combining skiing" is not very elegant; two successive words ending in -ing create a certain cacophony. It would be better to avoid this.
2. To say that Hotel XXX combines skiing with the finest traditional Swiss hotels is, at best, clumsily expressed. What they evidently mean is that Hotel XXX is one of the finest traditional Swiss hotels and also offers skiing.
3. I don't like the possessive in "Hotel XXX's views", and I'm not very keen on "take in".

Taking all this into account, I would suggest redrafting the sentence more radically, perhaps as follows:

Hotel XXX combines skiing with the attractions of staying at one of the finest traditional Swiss hotels. Its bedrooms and lounges offer views of pine forests lining immaculately groomed pistes."

This is only slightly longer than the original. There are many other possibilities, of course, particularly for the "finest traditional" bit; maybe "the charm of a fine traditional Swiss hotel", though without the superlative it's less hyperbolic, of course. Anyway, perhaps this will give you some ideas.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 7 hrs (2015-11-12 23:00:15 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Pardon me, I said "loose gerund" myself in my second paragraph; I meant "loose participle".

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 6 days (2015-11-19 09:51:04 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

It's a pleasure, Christophe. It did occur to me afterwards (it is probably too late now to be of any use) that they might mean "the finest traditions of Swiss hotels". The end of Alison's note in the discussion suggests this. It would read better like that, actually. Of course, it's not quite the same thing; a fine traditional hotel could suggest a fine hotel of a somewhat old-fashioned kind, whereas "the finest traditions" would suggest a fine traditional quality of service.
Selected response from:

Charles Davis
Spain
Local time: 23:42


SUMMARY OF ALL EXPLANATIONS PROVIDED
4 +4Rearrange the sentence
Charles Davis


Discussion entries: 10





  

Answers


7 hrs   confidence: Answerer confidence 4/5Answerer confidence 4/5 peer agreement (net): +4
gerund
Rearrange the sentence


Explanation:
Hi, Christophe,
Thanks for the information!
The point you make in your question seems to me perfectly sound. I agree with you that the sentence is not properly constructed, because, as it is written, the subject of the present participle (not strictly a gerund), "combining", is the views. That is to say, it means that the views combine skiing with traditional Swiss hotels, which is clearly nonsense; what the writer means is that the hotel in question combines these things.

It must be said that common sense will guide the reader to the desired meaning, and this kind of loose gerund is quite common, but it is poor, clumsy drafting and the sentence ought to be adjusted.

The minimum intervention to fix the point mentioned would be something like this:

"Combining skiing with the finest traditional Swiss hotels, Hotel XXX offers views from its bedrooms and lounges that take in pine forests lining immaculately groomed pistes."

However, I wouldn't stop there. The sentence has several other faults, in my view:
1. "Combining skiing" is not very elegant; two successive words ending in -ing create a certain cacophony. It would be better to avoid this.
2. To say that Hotel XXX combines skiing with the finest traditional Swiss hotels is, at best, clumsily expressed. What they evidently mean is that Hotel XXX is one of the finest traditional Swiss hotels and also offers skiing.
3. I don't like the possessive in "Hotel XXX's views", and I'm not very keen on "take in".

Taking all this into account, I would suggest redrafting the sentence more radically, perhaps as follows:

Hotel XXX combines skiing with the attractions of staying at one of the finest traditional Swiss hotels. Its bedrooms and lounges offer views of pine forests lining immaculately groomed pistes."

This is only slightly longer than the original. There are many other possibilities, of course, particularly for the "finest traditional" bit; maybe "the charm of a fine traditional Swiss hotel", though without the superlative it's less hyperbolic, of course. Anyway, perhaps this will give you some ideas.

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 7 hrs (2015-11-12 23:00:15 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Pardon me, I said "loose gerund" myself in my second paragraph; I meant "loose participle".

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 6 days (2015-11-19 09:51:04 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

It's a pleasure, Christophe. It did occur to me afterwards (it is probably too late now to be of any use) that they might mean "the finest traditions of Swiss hotels". The end of Alison's note in the discussion suggests this. It would read better like that, actually. Of course, it's not quite the same thing; a fine traditional hotel could suggest a fine hotel of a somewhat old-fashioned kind, whereas "the finest traditions" would suggest a fine traditional quality of service.

Charles Davis
Spain
Local time: 23:42
Specializes in field
Native speaker of: English
Notes to answerer
Asker: Hello Charles, Thanks again for your detailed answer and therefore your time. Have a good day! Christophe


Peer comments on this answer (and responses from the answerer)
agree  Veronika McLaren
1 hr
  -> Thanks, Veronika :) Now that I look again at the discussion, this is more or less what you suggested!

agree  Björn Vrooman: Not fond of "take in" either. Just a bit flabbergasted here, considering French and English sentence structures are much closer than, say, German and English ones.
18 hrs
  -> That's true, but this kind of thing happens all the time. Thanks, Björn :)

agree  Phong Le
1 day 12 hrs
  -> Thanks, Phong Le :)

agree  acetran
8 days
  -> Thanks, acetran :)
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