offset (asker) Apr 18, 2011:

Altogringo, thanks for the visual. It definitely helps. In fact, I'll include it with the complete manuscript when submitting to book publishers. I think a book like this, especially one so short (250 pp.) would benefit from illustrations.

Gilla, Jessica and Marjoy: now that I've had time to sleep on that chapter, I think each of you makes a good point. A little local color is a good thing, not a drawback. In fact, I've strategically left some foreign-ness in the English translation. For instance, the use of the 24-hour format. I'll use Tzeltal, maybe footnote or otherwise qualify it, and capitalize the term. As for how to describe the skirt and blouse, now that we've rough-hewn the raw material, that should be just a matter of what my wife (a Colombian) would call "carpintería". Thanks, team.

Jessica Noyes Apr 18, 2011:

I would keep "Tzeltal" also. When I read a book in my native English, I run across new terms all the time, say, "the Midlands," or "Tarheel" and meeting new terminology is part of the reading experience. I imagine that Spanish-speaking readers from Spain reading your source text, would also have only a vague idea of what Tzeltal refers to. So to expand on the McLuhan image I think you have to leave lots of bits of random sparkle in the work, not turn it into a pane of transparent glass.

Evans (X) Apr 18, 2011:

I see your problem, but I would keep Tzeltal for local colour even if it is unfamiliar to the reader, although it needs a capital in English. A little old Tzeltal woman, as Marjory suggests. But I wouldn't use Tzec (too much baffling local colour) but something more descriptive; and for the last bit maybe "a traditional white blouse" - using 'traditional' to convey that it is what the indigenous people wear or used to wear.

offset (asker) Apr 18, 2011:

Thanks for confirming that I was heading in the right directin. But please remember that my potential audience of English-speaking readers (not necessarily North Americans) will have a very vague idea of even basic Mexican geography, much less subtle tribal distinctions. They can't be counted on to know that Mexico is really the United States of Mexico, and that Chiapas is just one of those states, that it borders on Guatemala, and that Mexico is not located Central America, etc. If the word Tzeltal occasions even a momentary furrowing of the brow, then I haven't done my job as a translator. Marshall McLuhan likened it to stained glass: not light ON but light through. My text should draw as little attention to itself as possible, right?