Glossary entry

French term or phrase:

lorsque l’on respire en synchronicité

English translation:

when we breathe in unison

Added to glossary by Katarina Peters
Apr 23, 2014 18:15
10 yrs ago
1 viewer *
French term

lorsque l’on respire en synchronicité

French to English Art/Literary Poetry & Literature Narration in abstract style...
This is from a narrative for a short video. It is very abstract in style so it probably won't help giving any more text to help, but the paragraph starts as follows:

"Ce silence lorsque je contemple ta cime
Le son de sa respiration lorsque l’on respire en synchronicité."

I thought that "...when we breathe in synchronicity" might work, but is there a better way to express this, and to use the term or a related one?
Change log

Apr 24, 2014 20:06: Katarina Peters changed "Edited KOG entry" from "<a href="/profile/1213228">Lara Barnett's</a> old entry - "lorsque l’on respire en synchronicité"" to ""when we breath in unison""

Proposed translations

+7
13 mins
Selected

when we breath in unison

another suggestion
Peer comment(s):

agree Wendy Streitparth
15 mins
Thanks, Wendy - of course I meant breathe...
agree Elizabeth Tamblin : Substitute "breathe" for "breath" and it's good.
18 mins
Breathe, of course... thanks, Elizabeth
agree Tony M : Yes, with the verb 'breathe' — nice!
19 mins
As mentioned...so sorry, the "e" got left out somehow... and thanks, Tony.
agree Victoria Britten : Of course, but the point had already been made - and acknowledged...
42 mins
Thanks, Victoria! (breathe, of course)
agree Carol Gullidge : yep, and breathe of course!
14 hrs
Thanks, Carol!
agree James Perry : "Unison" conveys the musical image too
15 hrs
Thanks, James!
agree Bertrand Leduc
1 day 7 mins
Thanks, Bertrand.
Something went wrong...
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer. Comment: "Thank you."
+1
8 mins

When our breathing is synchronised

Put fairly simply
Peer comment(s):

agree Verginia Ophof
5 hrs
thanks Verginia!
Something went wrong...
10 mins

when we breathe in harmony / our breath is in harmony

Just an idea.
Peer comment(s):

neutral Tony M : Interesting idea, but I'm not entirely sure about using 'in harmony' for breathing... still mulling it over ;-)
23 mins
Thank you for your comment. :)
Something went wrong...
+1
10 mins

when we're breathing in time / together

Aha — you got that job then? ;-) I thought I'd give it a wide berth, and I'm glad I did now.

I certainly wouldn't use 'synchronicity', which in EN is (to my mind) far too dry and technical for this sort of text.

When people do the same thing at the same time, we often say they are 'in time'; 'together' might be a simpler solution, but open to ambiguity.


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Note added at 11 minutes (2014-04-23 18:26:11 GMT)
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'when we're breathing as one' might be a slightly more poetic way of expressing it too.
Peer comment(s):

agree Alison Kapor (X)
1 hr
Something went wrong...
20 mins

when the breathing is uniform/harmonious/rhythmic

Not uneven

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Note added at 21 mins (2014-04-23 18:36:12 GMT)
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our breathing, sorry
Peer comment(s):

neutral Tony M : Their breathing could be uniform or rhythmic, yet not be in sync.
13 mins
yet, you said you didn't like in sync; yet it could very well be
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